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Sunday, September 7, 2014

A Thousand Miles

One of the best parts of the year is when you get to take a vacation.  While on a vacation I am always ready to come home at the end.  But then after being back for a few days - I am always ready to go back.  Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow, and my family has lots of little bits of us made up from all the places we have gone.  I have so many memories - too many to list.  But here are a few.

Have you ever been to a wax museum.?  A couple of years ago we went to Washington D.C. and one of the places we went was a wax museum.  it was very nice and well lit and not scary - the wax dummies looked like wax.  But years earlier on our honeymoon we stopped at a small potatoes wax museum somewhere in Kentucky.  That museum scared the s&*$ out of us.  You had to walk through a door into a long dark walkway, and the door locked behind you with a thud/latch.  Along the way were dummies.  W were certain we were traveling down a walkway to our deaths.  We were making our peace with God - and then we rounded the corner to the final display.  Which was a wax figure of Jesus.  We knew it was a sign.  And past Him was the only way out.  A single black door.  Do we open the door?  If it is a door to death can you just crack the door and peek out?  Then if it is bad, run back through terror tunnel and bang on the locked door?  We decided to join hands and push open the door together - bonded against certain demise by our love.  We opened it, closed our eyes and took a step.  Into the parking lot.  AND THEN RAN TO OUR CAR AND SPED AWAY!  Death - come back another day.





Our first year of married bliss, for Valentine's Day Bret took me skiing for the first time.  I had no clue how to ski, but I was too impatient to wait through a lesson.  Bret took me to the bunny hill, showed me how to put my skis on and gave me a lesson on how to start and stop.  Then he took off down a big hill for awhile, leaving me to my own devices.  I was afraid of even the bunny slope, so I was take off and then immediately stop myself.  Pause.  Take off again and then immediately stop myself.  All the way down the bunny hill.  So I made it.  Now, to get up to the top.  I looked at the ski lift, and that didn't look safe enough - not even a bar over you as you sail through the air.  But I didn't want to have to walk all the way to the top so I hopped on the ski lift.  Fear flying through the air.  I mean, the ground wasn't even close - if I sneezed I would fall and die.  Finally we get reasonably close to the ground.  I watch the people in front of me gracefully just hop off and land on their skis. Easy.  Ok, I can do this.  But then I lost my nerve.  But then the lift started to go up again and THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GOING TO RISK MY LIFE ON THAT THING AGAIN.  I had no choice.  Only, when I got off the ski lift there was no grace or class to it.  There was no landing on my skis effortlessly.  I fell - too far off the ground because I waited too long, panicking.  I landed all over the place with tons of people watching.  And then got up and ski'd-stopped.  Ski'd-stopped my way to the top again.  From then on and I just climbed the hill which made me hot.  By the time Bret got back to me I had stripped down to the bare essentials, and had ski'd myself right through the ski instructor's lesson.

My next story is about another kind of main and misery.  Being in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy.  We were traveling to the lake in our 2 door Ford Focus, with our good friend and his two year old son  and  my 4 year old step son Tommy.  A curse of being short is that I am always stuck sitting in the back seat on car rides.  Even being out to here pregnant didn't save me on this trip.  I was sitting in between 2 extremely loud, active toddler boys.  Who liked to talk.  A lot.  To me.  Trapped in the backseat with them.  The baby in my belly was kicking my spine and heaven help me, the boys were telling me jokes.  That they had made up.

That same month we travelled upstate to our good friend's college graduation.  Being economical, we found a hotel that was undergoing constructions so they were offering discounted rates.  If you are ever given this opportunity - run the other way!!  The elevator didn't stop even with the floor, but a couple of feet below the floor.  Not easy for a pregnant hippo.  Everyone in our group had to hoist me and baby up to the floor to get to our hallway.

We went several years afterwards with no vacations (who can blame us with our track record?) But when the 4 year old stepson had grown to the ripe fold age of 10 and my baby bump was a 6 year old girl - we went on the grand daddy family vacation.  To Disney World.  That vacation was chock full of mishaps (Tommy got the stomach flu our first night there).


Our first experience was driving there.  We were a couple of hours away and low on fuel.  The car we were driving told us how many miles we could drive on the gas we had in our tank.  The gas was getting really low so we decided to stop to fuel up.  The gas thingy told us that we could go about 30 miles before we ran out of gas.  Problem is, we were stuck in an area where there were no towns!  And no gas station.  We prayed and prayed and eventually did make it to a town - coasting in on fumes.  The one stretch of interstate all that way with no civilization and no gas.  Just our luck!



We were there for a week, but a couple of days into it we went to Animal Kingdom.  The kids rode a few rides and were having fun.  And then we entered Dinosaur World.  Two things about Tommy:  he didn't think any of the rides we had gone on were exciting enough, and he was a former dinosaur fanatic.  And then we saw IT.  A ride - featuring dinosaurs - that promised thrills and chills.

Now Bret and I are thinking - how scary can it really be?  It was in DinoWorld in Disneyworld - the happiest place on earth.  After waiting in line in a sunny lobby, we made our way to a set of doors.  When opened, the doors took us to a very dark, damp set of metal stairs going down, underground.  There we were briefed by a video of the mom from The Cosby's about a top secret mission featuring "real" dinosaurs.  Cute right?  NO! We got in these boats which took us through tunnels of terror very similar to the wax museum of death.  The boats took us through a dark waterway where we would be able to see nothing, only hear very faint moans, but THEN OUT OF THE DARKNESS A DINOSAUR WOULD POP OUT AT US AND BLOW HOT AIR IN OUT FACE!!!  We were terrified!!!!!  Tatum and I screamed outright in unashamed fear.  Bret wasn't scared cause he lived though the wax museum - nothing can get to him now.  Tommy said he wasn't scared - although at the end of the ride they kindly flashed a ride photo up on a screen and there was a certain 10 year old boy -screaming.  Pictures don't lie!

After that ride of unnatural fear,we were all ready to take it down a notch.  We followed the sound of drums to the Tree Of Life where they were having a show featuring the characters from A Bug's Life.  Only thing is - it was an interactive show and our seats vibrated.  "Bugs" jumped out at us and such.  We were too on edge for it and ran out of the Tree Of Life in tears.  Happy memories from Disney World.



After a couple more relaxing vacations, relatively uneventful, we took our first trip chaperoning with the Jr. High choir.  To Washington D.C to the president's inauguration.   Bret and I rode on a charter bus filled with 6th graders and 6th grade parents.  For a 15 hour ride. Overnight on a charter bus.  It was my first ride on one and I have a very reliable queasy stomach.  I knew I wouldn't sleep on the bus but was afraid to take a sleeping pill, because I just knew I would vomit in my mouth and then be in too deep of a sleep and would choke and die.  The next over night charter bus trip I take - I'll chance it.  But those stories will have to wait for another night....

“Now more than ever do I realize that I will never be content with a sedentary life, that I will always be haunted by thoughts of a sun-drenched elsewhere.” 
 Isabelle Eberhardt, The Nomad: The Diaries of Isabelle Eberhardt
Our family needs a vacation from our vacations.


People Can Plan What They Want To Do,
But It Is The Lord Who Guides Our Steps
Proverbs 16:9


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