Smells Like Teen Spirit

A couple of months ago I went to the eye doctor.  He was a very kind, knowledgable man just about retirement age.  During the exam, he was making small talk, and asked me if I had children.  I said I did, and boy and a girl.  He commented on how nice kids are and how I must be so proud.  Then he asked their ages.  17 and 13 I said.  And then I swear I saw fear in his eyes.  He told me a story that I will never forget.  He said that when his son was 17, he sat him down with a notebook and a bunch of pens and made him write down everything he knew then, while he had everything figured out, so that as he grew up and ran into problems, he could refer back to his own teenage knowledge.  And that now as an adult his son admits that he did not really know it all after all:)

Well, contrary to what I hear and read about children between the ages of 12 and 20, for my husband and I, our teenagers are actually pretty enjoyable.  I do miss them being little, but it is very nice to be able to escape for a whole Saturday morning together, childless, and return to the house hours later to find the kids in the exact same spots doing the exact same things.  And now they are old enough to go on more trips/experience more things that Bret and I also find stimulating.  I don't believe in the parenting style of just throwing kids out into the world and letting them make their own mistakes.  And I also don't believe in coddling them and sheltering them too much.  I like to give them new experiences and step back and let them find their way, while maybe letting them make a mistake or two in the process.  I feel that is's how they learn.  And I sure have had some fun along the way.


When you have 2 teenagers, it means you always have at least 3-5 teenagers at your house, every single weekend and frequent weeknights.   I really enjoy their friends - you never know what you are going to get when they are around.  A few of them enjoy cooking - and actually prepare cakes and meals for us!!  Jackpot!  One girl even washes our dishes - she is my favorite house guest EVER and I beg her to come over all the time.  And when she is here, if she feels the need to go into the kitchen....

As always, we have have had lots of adventures with them, and lots of laughs at their expense.

For our daughter's birthday parties, she and her guests really love to go t.p'ing in our neighborhood.  Well two years ago, someone rebuked and got our yard really, really good!  We were able to get almost all of it down, except for this one roll of toilet paper in one tree by our driveway.  Nothing would get it down - we tried to throw things at it to knock it down, shake the tree - kids tried to climb the tree to get to it, no dice.  It survived strong thunderstorms, winter storms, and spring winds.  Finally 11 months after it had gotten thrown up there, I decided to just go with it, and have a big party when it had reached it's 12 month anniversary.  Just two weeks short it fell down!!  And you don't even want to know what kind of shape it was in.  In the meantime, over the year birds kept finding stray pieces of tp, and every nest in our yard was a toilet paper nest.

Also during birthday parties, the girls like to run down to a walking path which is behind our house, and draw chalk outlines of their bodies, with captions that read things like, "You are warned - turn around!"  And "caution - dead bodies up ahead.  So many bodies!"  People would maybe expect to see something like this around Halloween, but at the end of May, most folks walking the track just looked really confused.  They will be walking along as normal, and then stop and read everything and just try to take it in.  So funny!

Their are a couple of kids who I really enjoy when they come over.  One night, two of our cooks (including the girl who does dishes!!!!) came over to hang out.  It was getting late on a weekend night, and I asked them to take our dog out.  They said yes, but stayed together in a  huddle, as it was already dark.  It was them against the night.  Now when I take the dog out after dark, absolutely nothing happens, and our time outside is completely uneventful.  I walk a little, look at the stars/clouds/moon while the dog does her business, and then we go in.  But to a group of dramatic teens - danger loomed everywhere.  From in the house I heard a couple of mini screams, and some nervous giggling.  Then a bloodcurdling scream and the door slam!  Turns out, they had seen "a man" smoking a cigarette and ran back to the safety of the house to avoid getting slaughtered by him.  Our daughter Tatum, being awesome, locked them out for just a minute to get a laugh.  But don't worry, they made it in fine, and later admitted that it probably was just a shadow from a tree branch, and no one had actually smelled any smoke.


But I can't fault them for letting their imaginations run away with them.  When I was 17, my school would let the high school classes hold fund raisers for 4 years to save up for the whole class to take a senior trip.  My class went to Jekyll Island Georgia.  None of us had ever been to the east coast, and had never seen the sun rise over the ocean.  So one of my roommates  and I set out to do just this.  We had no idea what time the sun would come up, so we ended up setting our alarms way too early, and just roamed around the beach in the dark for an hour or two.  While roaming aimlessly around this island, we came upon what could only be a dead body which had washed up on the shore.  No other explanation for it except a dead body.  It was the right size to be a man, so we thought if he didn't wash up on the shore, maybe he was murdered right there on the island and maybe the killers were still at large.  Or - maybe the man was a murderer and he wasn't all the way dead.  And would be waking up at any time and would turn on us!  Being 17, we never thought of running back to the hotel to the safety and annonmitity of our hotel room and the lock on our door.  No, we figured that if we walked far away enough from the body that we couldn't see it - we were safe.  So we just found something to sit on, discussed the different ways the man could have died and waited for the sun to come up.  And when it did, it was so beautiful - it took our breath away.  We figured in the day's light we might as well go check out the dead man and then call the police.  Well, their was no dead man.  Only a large piece of drift wood that washed up on the beach.  But it' funny how teenagers' minds automatically reach for the most far fetched, dangerous assumption every time.

Or sometimes, quite the opposite.  Two different teenagers came over one afternoon last week for dinner (which they cooked.  Score!) and a movie.  Afterwards it was getting late, and they started getting their things together to go home.  It was well after dark so I told them that I would give them a ride.  It's not safe to walk through town after dark - even though we live in a good neighborhood, and it is very close by.  They INSISTED that were going to walk home, they did not need a ride.  I asked them, "Ok what is your game plan if someone approaches you?"  They both very seriously and maturely responded that they would cause a scene, yell really loud, and the boy said that he would get violent if approached by anyone.  They swore up and down to me that their parents didn't care, and in fact no parents were coming to get them, so I eventually told them they could go.  But as soon as they were out our door, my daughter Tatum turned to me and said, "Let's go mess with them."

You wonder as a parent, for 13 years, if you are doing it right.  You want to impart on them a good mix of wisdom, bravery and humor.  Pray with them and for them to always make good decisions in life, and grow into the best person they can.  And sometimes, at times like this, when it's your daughter's idea to pull a prank on her friends, you see your child with new eyes.  Eyes that show you that you have done your job.



But I digress.  We waited about 5 minutes and then took off.  As we pulled into their street, they darted right in front of our car crossing the street.  So I slammed on my breaks and just sat behind them shining my lights right on them.  They would move, I would move.  And do you know what those big tough guys did?  They didn't cause a scene.  They didn't prepare to fight off danger.  They power walked down the sidewalk arms flapping, heads pivoting frantically to keep an eye on us.  It was hilarious!!!!   Tatum leaned her head out the window and said, "Hey, you guys want a ride?"  Then they laughed and ended letting us give them a ride the rest of the way.  Kids are fun.

I know we are about to cross that parenting finish line, but I sure am enjoying these last few precious years watching them turn into whoever it is that they are going to be.  And it is nice to get to watch a handful of extra teens grow up as well.  I am already proud of who I can tell they are growing up to be, if they don't get murdered by pieces of driftwood, or slow driving SUV's in the night.  I was looking for a good quote to end the blog with summing up teen hood.  I found one that may work nicely:  "You never know what you have, until you clean your room."  Gotta love them!

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

When I was 17 and knew everything!